


Lance Squared and Other Non-Math Problems

by spacegaysgettingspacelaid



Series: Gosh Dang Galra and Their Meanie-Head Monsters [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Lance is sad, M/M, Pidge Uses They/Them Pronouns, Shapeshifter, gosh dang galra, keith is confused, keith is filled with righteous fury, only sad, tbh everyone is confused, there?? are two??? lances????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 08:25:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8242801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegaysgettingspacelaid/pseuds/spacegaysgettingspacelaid
Summary: Lance has been in the Galra's custody for three weeks.
Keith is willing to do just about anything to get him back (including jumping out of a lion that's five seconds from exiting the atmosphere).
Unfortunately, Lance seems to have multiplied.
☼☼☼
or, the one in which there appear to be two lances and keith is pretty sure one of them is evil but he's not sure which.





	

**Author's Note:**

> look at me i was all like "ayyy doin my own late klance week lol im on a roll" and then i was all "oh frick i can't wRite this bullcrap" ok writing is hArD
> 
> but here tho. take this. this is what i have. this is what i have made. there will be more. like not another chapter. but another. part. of the series.
> 
> wow. periods. punctuations. my. english. teachers. loved me.
> 
> anyways if u read any of my fanfictions on wattpad (hghrules check me out) then u know that i have an obsession with not being able to tell a clone from an original. here u go here is my self indulgent clone fic sort of.

"Keith! Thanks for saving me," Lance will say.

"No problem," Keith will respond, rolling his eyes, and the two of them will fly away from wherever Lance is being held.

This is not exactly how things play out.

The Team splits up to look for Lance. They've got a sort of lead, and Keith's hoping that Lance's captivity will end today. He's hoping that Lance is somewhere on this planet, holed up but ready to be rescued.

God, Keith misses Lance.

Keith sees the dull grey building and nearly flips his crap. Mere moments pass and already Keith is shoving open the surprisingly unlocked front door, barreling down the hallway, and slamming his way into a dingy, cramped room.

"Keith?" Lance asks, hesitantly.

"Lance," Keith breathes, suddenly overwhelmed by the unstoppable urge to wrap his arms around the other boy.

Lance's breath hitches in the worst way possible, and when Keith jerks away, he can see Lance screwing his eyes shut like he's trying to block out reality.

"Quiznack, Lance," Keith says, swearing under his breath as he cuts Lance free with his bayard. "I'm getting you out of here. Can you walk?"

Keith waits. The silence scares him.

"Fine. I'll carry you." Keith sighs and says into his communicator, "Guys, I found Lance. Safe to follow me in, I haven't seen any Galra soldiers but Lance is in pretty bad condition."

"Thank the stars," Shiro sighs in relief. "We'll be there soon."

"S-Shiro?" Lance asks as he opens one eye, evidently hearing the Black Paladin's voice through Keith's comm.

"Yeah, it's Shiro," Keith confirms, and Lance dares to open his other eye as well.

The Red Paladin takes greater care than he imagined he had in picking Lance up in his arms. As grateful as he is to have Lance back, he knows he isn't home free yet.

"Keith!" Lance yells, but Lance is still lying quietly in Keith's arms, and Keith doesn't understand until he looks up - even then, he doesn't really understand at all. There's another Lance barely standing in front of him, with tear tracks down his face and bruises all over his body. "Keith, I'm so glad you're here, I-" He freezes, looking in horror at the Lance in Keith's arms. "Who's that?"

"It's- you," Keith replies, not quite comprehending the situation as he glances down at the Lance in his arms, who barely flashes an expression of defeat before burrowing his face into Keith's jacket while he still can. Keith can feel the cloth pressed against Lance's face getting damp.

"T-That's not me!" The standing Lance insists, shaking his head frantically. "Please, please, you can't leave me here, Keith! I- I wanna go back to the castle!"

The Lance in Keith's arms doesn't say a word, just shakes slightly as Keith's jacket gets more and more damp.

"I need to see Allura! I can't die here before I even get a chance to woo the princess!" the standing Lance cries.

Keith feels the familiar rock of jealousy in the pit of his stomach and decides that this _must_ be the real Lance. "Then who the quiznack is this?" he asks as he glances down at the Lance he's holding, who is balling his hands into fists around Keith's jacket.

"An imposter," Lance accuses, crossing his arms and pouting a little. "He's some Galra monster, he's been shapeshifting into different people on the Team to try and get to me!"

"That could cause some real problems," Keith breathes, examining the 'Galra monster' in his arms. The monster Lance refuses to reveal its face again. It seems content to cry into Keith's jacket. "Should we, uh… kill it now? While it's still trying to fool us?"

The monster Lance hardly reacts. Just grips Keith's jacket a little harder.

"I mean, I guess so," Lance shrugs, peering down at the monster. "That little sucker has caused me a _lot_ of pain."

"I can't imagine…" Keith trails off. "You seem pretty steady though."

Lance shakes his head, ignoring Keith. "It was terrible. I wish you'd come sooner. I just… I'm glad you're here now," Lance admits, looking up to make eye contact with Keith, and Keith's breath hitches in the best way possible.

"Okay. Okay, uh-" Keith coughs, setting the monster Lance down on the hard, concrete floor of the hallway. "I don't think I can kill something that looks so much like… you."

"That's sweet," Lance coos rather than making fun of him as was expected. Keith doesn't know which is worse. "But don't worry. I'll do it. I just need…"

"Your bayard?" Keith asks. "I found it on one of the hooks in this hallway."

"Oh. Uh- Yeah! That's just what I need," Lance nods nervously.

"Okay… Good. Then take it," Keith huffs impatiently, hand outstretched.

"Sure thing! Um… Hey, is that the Team?" Lance asks, glancing towards the door. "Maybe we should just leave. We don't know how dangerous this thing really is."

"Well, _you_ do," Keith points out.

"Yeah, but I don't think it ever really used its full power on me. And I… I'm kinda…" Lance bites his lip and swallows hard, looking down at the floor for a few moments. Finally, he looks up, staring right into Keith's eyes again. "I'm scared, Keith. It hurt me so much. Please, I don't want to stay here."

"O-Okay," Keith agrees, and he registers vaguely that Lance's tone is making his heart hurt. "Yeah. But we really can't let this _thing_ keep terrorizing people - what if he finds you again somehow?" Suddenly, Keith is overcome with guilt. "Quiznack. I'm so sorry, I guess it was really insensitive to make you kill your own torturer, quiznack, I'm sorry. I'm not- not really good with people."

"It's okay!" Lance assures him with a tone that's sweet like honey. Keith's never heard that tone used on anyone other than the pretty alien girls Lance always tries to hit on. He's never realized before now how much he wanted to hear that tone used on _him._

"Not for Keith," the monster Lance mutters, and it's barely audible, it's said quietly into his arms, it's smothered by tears and hopelessness. In the back of his mind, Keith thinks that this monster is a very good actor, and quite possibly the Galra's scariest weapon yet.

_"What's_ not for Keith? _Care? Love?"_ Lance snarls down at the monster, who just hugs its knees to its chest and squeezes its eyes shut tightly yet again. Meanwhile, Keith is slowly registering Lance's words. "Of course he deserves love! It's not _his_ fault you're a worthless _monster_ who wrecks everything he touches." The monster Lance shudders slightly and begins to sob loudly into its arms.

The whole 'love' thing does not seem like a very Lance thing to say. Briefly, Keith thinks to himself that he really must get Lance to a healing pod as quickly as possible.

Less briefly, Keith thinks that the sound of Lance's - no, _the monster's -_ sobs are heart wrenching. He then reminds himself that he ought not be wishing he could hold the enemy in his arms and make everything better.

"Come on, Keith," Lance says, shooting one last glare at the monster as he grabs Keith's hand and makes for the exit. But then he pauses. "Hey, monster," he says harshly, and growls when the monster doesn't respond. "Hey! Look at us when we're talking to you!" Lance demands.

The monster looks up weakly, eyes red and lips quivering.

Before Keith can react, Lance is pulling him in by the cloth of his jacket, leaning in quick and close and pressing his lips against Keith's. Keith gasps into the kiss, but then he relaxes and weaves his fingers through Lance's fluffy brown hair because this is all he's wanted for the last year and a half of being in space. Lance wraps his arms around Keith's waist, tilting his head slightly to get a better angle, and Keith smiles a little wider than his brain thinks is necessary (though his heart is yearning for more). When Lance pulls away in slight confusion, Keith laughs and says quietly, "Quiznack, Lance. I like you. A _lot._ Does- Does this mean you like me, too?"

"Absolutely," Lance replies. Then he shoots a glance at the monster slumped against the wall. "Keith _does_ deserve love," Lance says, "from someone who is _worthy."_

The monster's eyes are wide and glued to Keith's giddy smile. His breath is held. He doesn't move.

"Let's get out of here," Lance says to Keith, who grins even more when Lance takes his hand again.

"Keith- _Lance!"_ Hunk shouts happily, encasing Lance in a giant hug the moment he sees him. "We've missed you so much!" he says with tears in his eyes.

"I've missed you, too," Lance says emotionally.

Hunk grins, biting his lip to hold in a storm of loving words. "Okay, uh- So Shiro sent me to get you guys, you two can ride in Keith's lion, I'll just lead you guys back to the castle."

"Sounds good," Lance replies, following Keith into his lion.

Red shoots up into the sky without hesitation, and Keith relaxes into the pilot seat while Lance leans against the wall and holds onto a pole for support. Keith calls up the communication screen before Red is even anywhere near leaving the atmosphere. "Say hello, Lance," he says, grinning.

"Hello!" Lance pipes up.

Shiro's face appears on the screen. "It's so good to see you," he says, sounding tired but relieved.

"Yeah, we-" Pidge freezes, leaning towards the screen to get a closer look. "Matt?"

"What?" Keith asks, tilting his head a little. Red stalls, and Lance urges him on. "No, it's Lance."

"Father!" Allura gapes as her and Coran's faces appear on the screen.

"King Alfor!"

"No, it's- guys, it's Lance," Keith says slowly, glancing back to confirm that it is, indeed, Lance. Keith is pretty sure it is. Lance just shrugs. Red stalls again.

"What is up with your lion? And what's up with _you guys?"_ Lance asks, raising an eyebrow.

"I- Father, how-?"

"Matt, how did you get out? I've been looking everywhere for you and Dad, I-"

Keith's lips suddenly feel very, very dry. "Red, go back to this planet's surface."

Red starts to lower down, but Lance shakes his head. "Nah, why would we do that? Just keep heading towards the castle," Lance instructs.

"I'm your pilot, and I'm telling you to land," Keith growls, his worry growing exponentially with each moment that Red disobeys his commands.

"Stay in the air," Lance insists, and Red hovers in place.

"Damn it, Red, _land!"_ Keith yells, standing up and sending his chair flying backwards.

"No!" Lance yells back, and Red still doesn't move so Keith runs out of the cockpit and _jumps out of the mouth_ like a fricking _crazy person,_ and he can hear everyone on the team, 'Lance' included, yelling for him to stop but Keith _doesn't_ because he has made the _biggest mistake of his life._

His jetpack _barely_ softens his landing, and Keith stumbles forward but manages to keep his balance well enough to break into a frantic sprint back toward the group of Galra cells that were so _conveniently_ unguarded, back toward the 'monster' that didn't deny a single word spat at him because he was too damn _broken_ to believe he _wasn't_ a monster and-

"Lance!" Keith shouts, barreling through the door. "Quiznack, please be okay, please, Lance-"

The 'monster' is right where Keith left him, curled in on himself, hardly able to move, sobbing into his knees with his eyes shut tight like he's refusing reality again. Keith begins to understand why.

"Lance, open your eyes," Keith begs, hurriedly crouching down in front of him. He rests his hands gently on Lance's arms, trying hard to ignore how the broken boy whimpers. "Open your eyes, Lance, please."

Slowly, Lance relents, and Keith feels himself relax when he sees the blue of Lance's eyes.

"Lance. Oh, _Lance,"_ Keith murmurs, gently wrapping his arms around the Blue Paladin. "I'm so sorry, you can't _imagine_ how sorry I am."

Lance blinks a few times. "Wha- What?"

"I'm here, Lance. It's me, _Keith,_ not that shapeshifting Galra monstrosity that hurt you. I'm so sorry for- for believing him over you. I should have known, I should have known," Keith groans.

"You… You came back?" Lance asks, voice raspy and weak.

"God, Lance, of _course,"_ Keith breathes, hugging him more tightly. "I'm so sorry."

"Stop saying that," Lance croaks. "I- I didn't think you'd- Even after finding out, I never thought you'd…" Keith blinks, and tears drip down his face and onto Lance's shoulder. _"Keith."_

"What?" Keith asks, voice shaky as he pulls back gently.

"Thank you," Lance whispers, and there's a sense of hope in Lance's eyes that Keith has definitely missed. "You… You're real, right? And you're not- not going to hurt me?"

"Never," Keith promises.

The furious roar of the Red Lion shakes the door, and Keith jumps to his feet and stands defensively in front of Lance's small form.

"Get out of Keith's lion!" Pidge's angry voice demands, and Red roars one more time.

Keith glances back at Lance and argues with himself for a moment before picking the fragile boy up once more. He certainly can't leave him alone in here.

The Red Lion is roaring a third time when Keith jogs out of the building with Lance in his arms, and Hunk, Pidge, and even Shiro are all screaming threats at the Red Lion's inhabitant. "Eject him!" Keith yells after assessing the situation. Lance weakly covers his ears, and Keith feels a pang of guilt on top of all the guilt he's already feeling.

"Keith, no, that's an imposter!" Hunk yells, eyes wide when he sees Lance in Keith's arms, and Lance whimpers and buries his head in Keith's jacket again as Hunk aims his gun.

"No, he's real! This is the real Lance," Keith assures the Yellow Paladin, subconsciously hunching over slightly to shield and protect Lance as much as he can. "You were on the right track with yelling at Red."

"Red can't eject this thing because this thing isn't in the pilot's seat!" Pidge belatedly informs Keith, who lets Lance slip carefully into a ginormous Hunk-hug. The two best friends sink down to the ground, and Hunk practically cradles Lance as Lance clings to Hunk's paladin armor.

"We've been trying to get in, but Red is moving around too much," Shiro explains. "It's too dangerous."

"Too dangerous, my ass," Keith growls, nearly stomping up to Red. Red growls, and Keith just shakes his head and climbs up into the lion's mouth even as it continues to swing around. "Calm down, Red, I'm getting this monster out of you," Keith promises as he marches purposefully towards the cockpit.

"I'm your paladin, calm down!" Keith's own voice shouts, and the real Keith feels what could probably be described as 'righteous fury' rising up inside him.

"You're _not_ Red's paladin," Keith hisses, coming face to face with what now appears to be himself. _"I_ am. Now get _out of my lion."'_

"Listen to me, 'Red,'" the shapeshifter continues, putting a hand on the wall and staring up at the ceiling. "Get rid of this guy."

"You're not fooling anyone!" Keith yells.

The shapeshifter raises an eyebrow, and Keith's hands clench into fists.

"I hate you!" the shapeshifter screams, which is, to say the least, a bit of a surprise. Keith can't help but tilt his head as he stares at his own angry face. "I _hate you!_ Ever since day one when you interrupted my rescue mission, I've _hated your guts!_ I've never felt anything but hatred for you. All you are is a _thorn in my side_ and I can't _wait_ for some Galra soldier to kill you. I _hate_ you, Lance."

Keith's eyes go wide.

"You aren't exactly the smartest of people," says the shapeshifter, suddenly taking Pidge's form and pushing their glasses further onto their nose. "And you got captured through _no_ fault of _ours._ If you weren't so stupidly obnoxious, maybe you wouldn't have gotten captured. Maybe we wouldn't have _let_ you get captured."

Keith tries to ignore the terrible feeling forming in the pit of his stomach.

"I can't believe I stayed friends with you for so long," snorts a shapeshifter version of Hunk. He laughs a little and gives a warm smile. "I mean, look at me! I deserve someone so much better than you. Er, not to say I'm particularly great, but- well, you're just kind of a terrible friend, you know? No one really _wants_ you. _I_ just got _stuck_ with you."

"Lance." Shiro. With his patented disappointed frown. "I didn't want to have to do this, but Voltron… The universe is more important than one person's feelings. Blue is… no longer yours. I'm sorry, Lance, but- you're just not good enough. I don't know _how_ you ever even got into the academy, but your flight skills are just- we need someone who will actually be able to contribute to the team, and you just _can't._ We're going to find a new paladin for the Blue Lion."

Allura. "Simply pitiful. Here you are, mistakenly chosen paladin of Voltron, and you can't even manage to keep yourself from being captured! The very _least_ you could do is _try!_ Surely this isn't the best you can do - then again, it _would_ make sense. You _have_ always seemed to be rather incapable…"

"I'm only doing this to protect the princess," says Coran's voice, Coran's mouth. "Lance, you're- just a bit of a liability, you see? No hard feelings! It's just that the princess ought to be surrounded by only the most competent of warriors, and you- well, you can hardly fight away your own demons." The left side of Coran's face seems to melt down a little, and then the shapeshifter changes and Keith is seeing Lance again. "Worthless. Can't even fight away your own demons," the shapeshifter laughs cruelly. "Worthless. Useless. It's just as well that you were captured - no one back at the castle cares about you. I'll bet they don't even realize they're gone. Or, even more likely - they're _glad._ They're throwing a nice little _farewell party,_ overjoyed that they'll never have to see your ugly face ever again."

"I'll never love you," the shapeshifter says, switching back to Keith's form. "How could I ever love someone so… unlovable?"

The shapeshifter smirks. "I _did_ fool _someone."_

"I'll kill you," Keith chokes out. His head is pounding and his throat is dry and this is what Lance went through for _three weeks._ Keith realizes that he can't breathe.

"Will you?" the shapeshifter asks, shifting back into Lance. "I don't think you can."

"You put him through three weeks of absolute _hell,"_ Keith growls. "Hurting _you_ won't be a problem."

The shapeshifter manages to get in the first successful punch, but then Keith has his bayard out and the fight is three seconds from over and done with. Unfortunately, the shapeshifter is smart enough to shift back into Keith and that makes him quick, and Keith's bayard ends up flying across the cockpit.

The two tumble out of the Red Lion, rolling over and over with neither of them able to come out on top for more than a few seconds. It's an even match, Keith fighting against Keith, but the real Keith is filled with such fury on behalf of the Lance he couldn't protect that he's _certain_ he can pound this monster into the ground.

"Keith!" Pidge shouts, voice ridden with frustration, and Shiro bites his lip as his prosthetic hand begins to glow.

"Who do we help?" Hunk asks, clearly on the verge of panic.

"You don't have a _chance,"_ says one of the Keiths, pinning the other to the ground.

"Tell me that again when I'm pounding your face in," snarls the underdog Keith. Lance's bayard falls out of his pocket as he flips the other Keith over, but the both of them tumble around so much that any discernment is quickly lost.

"You're going to die here," says the Keith that has finally managed to come out on top for an extended amount of time.

"In your dreams," the seemingly defeated one hisses.

The top Keith squeezes his hands around the other Keith's neck, and the other Keith struggles at first but slowly, slowly he starts to calm down.

The rest of the Team stands, frozen in place, as the battle comes to a close.

"I got him," the Keith on top grins, looking up at the Team as he squeezes the last bit of life out of the bottom Keith. Most of the Team breathes a collective sigh of relief.

The winning Keith gets a bullet through his forehead.

The recoil of the gun is a little too much for Lance to handle in his tired, wounded state, and he drops his bayard almost as soon as the 'winning' Keith falls over, dead. For a moment, the rest of the Team is horrified.

"Lance," the remaining Keith rasps, pushing the body off of him weakly. He takes a few deep breaths and then falls back down on his back. "God, I love you, Lance."

"Thank God, we won," Pidge huffs, plopping down tiredly on the ground.

"Wha-" Hunk's eyes are wide. "Is the real Keith brave enough to-"

"The real Keith is gonna regret this as soon as he's got enough oxygen to think straight," Pidge says. "Until then, can we just rest?"

"Yeah. It's been a bit of a long day," Shiro sighs.

"I love you, too," Lance mumbles.

And then he passes out.

* * *

Three days later, Allura is worried and the rest of the Team is excited.

"Please, just try to remember," she begs various paladins, over and over. "What did the shapeshifter look like when it died?"

"I don't know," they wave her off. "Quiet; Lance will be out soon!"

Allura does not appreciate being ignored, but she does her best to understand.

When Lance's medpod opens and fog momentarily fills the air, the team doesn't even notice because they're too busy telling Allura to buzz off. Allura does not take kindly to this, and Lance does not take kindly to faceplanting into the floor in lieu of a 'welcome back to the world of the living' party.

"Lance!" calls half the group, and then Keith is crouched down in front of the blue-eyed boy, and he's lifting him up and hugging him tightly, too tightly, _oh my crow Keith you're going to break my ribs I **just** got out of the medpod, man._

"Lance," Keith breathes into Lance's neck. "Lance, Lance, I'm so sorry, I'm so- You're okay, you're okay, you saved me even though I almost didn't save you, I-"

"Shh," Lance mumbles. "It's okay. It's okay."

"Quiznack. Lance, I-"

"Shut up," Lance replies, rolling his eyes. "And thank you for saving me."

"I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again," Keith swears.

"Deal," Lance says quietly, and Keith hugs him tighter.

"Princess, there's a bit of an unexpected weight dragging on the left side of the ship, ah-" Coran pauses halfway into the room. "Lance, you're awake!"

Keith refuses to let go of Lance's hand as the rest of the Team gives away hugs and tears. Lance doesn't mind quite so much.

The ship veers to the left, just a little.

Allura _did_ try to warn them.


End file.
